Thursday, November 5, 2009

Humble Beginnings

The purpose of this blog is to accelerate my stardom so that I can afford a house with a closet big enough to fit all of my Snuggies as well as those belonging to my future husband, the cloned version of Orson Welles (from his "War of the Worlds" days...NOT his Paul Masson declination).

VS
The winner is clear.

When a film based on this blog is inevitably produced, I do not want Meryl Streep or Amy Adams to come anywhere near it. Instead, the actress starring as myself would definitely be Cher in full on Half-Breed garb (not because she bares any resemblance to me whatsoever. If that were the case, I would have to go with Josh Groban...in full on Half-Breed garb).


Half Breed...it's all she ever heard.



Eerily Similar Photos taken without knowledge of the other...freaky.

As for the challenging role of my boyfriend, Daniel, I know he would probably prefer Zach Braff, but after seeing "Slumdog Millionaire", I am pretty sold on Dev Patel.



Uncanny.

The film will gross well over a million dollars (I know, I know), and I will make a lofty portion of that. It will be the highlight of my existence and in my later years, I will probably endorse Paul Masson or some other fine champagne "inspired by that same french excellence".

That inevitability, however, is some time off from now. In the mean time, I am writing this blog with, I suppose, a secondary purpose of shedding some much needed perspective on everything. You're welcome.

But all of this will have to start later as I am too distracted by puppy videos on YouTube to continue any further.

4 comments:

jo said...

How many theaters do you expect to distribute this film?!

Cher did win an Oscar...

Christy said...

To answer your question, all of them. No problem.

And yes. Cher is a baller, a shot-caller, and an Acadamy Award winner.

Patrick said...

a million isn't all that much for a movie. According to imdb, Cirque de freak: the vampire's assistant made 3.2 million just last week. I hope i don't know anyone who contributed to that.

obscure fact: the lowest grossing movie of all time is Zyzzyx Road which made a whopping $30. With a name like that how could it fail?

Christy said...

The million thing was a joke that would have played out much better in person...yikes. I probably should have said thousands or just put the number in pesos or yen.

Along with that killer title, this trailer really should have sealed the deal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Kp8ycMhvO8

What is wrong with American audiences? I suggest taking this work of art to Canada where it can really be appreciated.

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